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What Does It Mean To Be Whole?


What does it mean to be whole? This question crossed my desk this week and made me think... What does being whole truly mean? Whole, by definition is - All of; Complete. I know that for myself, for many years I searched for happiness and wholeness in some of the most unlikely and undesirable places. (Unhealthy relationships,crappy jobs etc) Whilst I have no regrets for the decisions in my past , I can say that the whole way through (until recent times) I was searching. Searching for something or someone to complete me. Whether it be happiness in work, in life or in love, we all have at times wished and searched for that something 'More ' That something " extra " that would come into our life and make us feel better. That something fabulous and that something wonderful. Something magical to sweep us off our feet... From experience I know that MAGIC is an illusion. What you see and ( as oppose to ) what may actually be there are two entirely different things. What if I was to tell you that all you would ever need lays within you ? Happiness Wealth Love All of it ... Right there within you and always has been ! Would you believe it ? Or would you question it like everything else in your life ? The key to being whole IS simply acceptance of ones self. I know this theory has been thrown about for centuries - before the beginning of time I suspect. It's nothing new really! Yet it is so simple! Someone once asked me that if when my family was away from me (in the physical), did I love them any less. NO I had replied, most certainly not. They are in my heart and I lovingly love them no matter how near or far they may be. So why then as a general entity do we hold expectations towards our loved ones ? To be home at a certain time . To do certain things or to act a certain way? Why do we behave like this ? Why do we fear that we love them more than they love us ? Isn't love just love ? On my journey I couldn't help but ask myself what is the driving force that underlines all else ? Where does desire want and need come from? A baby certainly isn't born with such things ! Conditioning I believe to be the answer. What we learn from one another is what teaches us. If we fear,we can be controlled ! What is fear then? Feat by definition is - unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm. There you have it ! It's an emotion . The definition of emotion - A strong feeling deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. So essentially according to this, fear (in definition ) seems to be a emotion created from external relationships with others . Interesting !!!!! So based on this definition the hypothesis would perhaps be that social conditioning creates a false sense of fear. That it potentially creates a detachment from core self whilst creating an attachment / need to seek externally for acceptance and well being. I am sure the sages the masters and the creators would differ in their opinion. All we need, all we seek - the answers lay within each and every one of us! For me, I dug deep on this lesson and I learnt the hard way. The dark night of the soul is not a journey for the light hearted however it is a journey well worth taking. Why? Because I now know me. The real me. The me that is a pure reflection of divine love. The real me that is complete in self. I have No need to search for it in another, to be in a relationship to find And feel complete . I found it all within me. Unconditional love . Creator love Divinity All of it .. This is, by my definition what it feels like to be whole. To know that each soul is born of pure intent. Each one of us bleeds the same Feels the same pain Grieves that pain just the same as the next person . None of us are better than the other. We are all just parts in a bigger picture. Wholeness is being your own reason for getting up every morning. Your own reason for that huge smile upon your face. Being whole is doing what you love so much that it isn't work at all! Being whole is accepting and loving yourself so much that you don't NEED another to make you feel loved wanted and complete. Being whole is being able to look in the mirror and be totally ok with what you see back in the reflection. Being whole is being in a relationship with another and loving them without condition. No expectations. Just love! I known the gut wrenching disappointment that like an arrow hits a hearts and shatters it when something doesn't work out the way we had hoped it would be. Expectation does this to us not love ! Anger fear,blame ... All human emotions associated with reason. We need to have an explanation as to why we feel this way! If expectation is removed and we " detach" from the outcome, What we have left at the root at the core is unconditional love. Pure intent! Not one bred from expectation and gain! When you are whole within self you are empowered. You are fluid and you are in control. All that you need , everything it truly does lay within YOU, within us ! You are ok to be alone the reality is we are all connected Anyhows. " All hearts beat as one " This lesson took me a long time to understand and an even longer to learn. Being truthful to self is the start. The rest, well that's different for everyone. I do know that abundance comes in many shapes and sizes. Next time you catch yourself wishing to be a millionaire ... Ask yourself how much you would take as a trade for those that you do love! Would you sell one of your children for a million dollars ? ( being serious ) the answer ( I am sure ) would be no. In fact, there are many types of millionaires around this world and money is simply a bunch of numbers on a computer screen that creates choice. So when all said and done my answer is simple. Whole is the completeness of self within self and the ability to love without condition or expectation. Photo credit - Cameron Gray

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